Chapter One

“Isn’t this exciting?” Alaska asked Ry with a huge smile, just before she hurried across the room to talk to Henley.

She managed to smile at her friend and nod, but as soon as her back was turned, Ry’s lips turned down again. She was in no mood to celebrate the imminent birth of Henley and Tonka’s baby.

Everyone was gathered at the lodge at The Refuge, and Robert and Luna had made a huge cake for the impromptu baby shower. The mood was festive, anticipation in the air. This would be the first baby born among the close-knit group of friends, but there would be more to come in the near future. Reese would be next, due in another month or so. Then Lara a few months later, and Maisy had recently learned she was pregnant too. Not to mention Cora and Pipe’s first foster child, who would arrive in the next week.

It was a joyous time at The Refuge…for everyone but Ry.

She shouldn’t be here. Unfortunately it was too late. She should’ve left way before now.

But first Jasna had gone missing…then Reese was taken. And she couldn’t have lived with herself if she hadn’t done what she could to help rescue Lara. But her real downfall was Stone. She’d been determined to do what she could to find him—ultimately using a computer that wasn’t protected.

She’d had the best of intentions but that didn’t matter…not to a man like her father.

She sighed.

“If you’re that unhappy, you can leave, Ryleigh.”

Ry stiffened. She didn’t have to turn her head to see who’d approached. There was only one person who used the name she’d been given at birth. She was “Ryan” until she’d admitted to the owners of The Refuge that she’d lied about who she was, and why she was here. Now she went by Ry, which she actually liked better than Ryan.

But Spencer “Tiny” Denny refused to call her anything but Ryleigh.

Besides the use of her given name, she’d recognize Tiny’s voice anywhere. The low, rumbly sound of it slid down her spine and sent shivers through her body. Once upon a time, she’d dreamed about having a fling with him. But she’d blown any chance of that the moment she admitted she’d been lying to not only Tiny, but everyone at The Refuge. She’d done it for very good reasons, but she had no doubt this man would never forgive her.

After all…he’d told her so.

Everyone else seemed to take what she’d done in stride. She hadn’t done anything that would bring harm upon The Refuge or the people living here…yet. She’d done everything she could to help, when and where she could. And yet, Ry had a feeling even if she saved the place from burning to ash around them, Tiny still wouldn’t forgive her.

She didn’t really blame him. The things she’d done here were just the tip of the iceberg. If Tiny or the rest of the men who owned the world-renowned retreat knew who she really was, what she was capable of, the things she’d done…she’d be kicked out so fast her head would spin.

And Ry had a feeling Tiny knew she was hiding so much more than she’d admitted. Which was probably part of the reason why he was so curt with her.

“Did you hear me?” he asked.

Ry nodded.

“You either need to stop looking like you’d rather be mucking out Melba’s stall and smile, or leave,” he told her.

She took a deep breath. She might not like being around Tiny all that much now, but he was right. She did her best to relax her muscles and even managed to smile at Alaska, who was staring at her and Tiny from across the room with a worried look on her face.

Ry glanced toward the man and studied him for a long moment. He was taller than her by a few inches, and she wasn’t exactly short. At six feet, he seemed to tower over everyone simply because of his confident presence. It was no secret that the girls and others compared him to the iconic Jake Ryan from the movie Sixteen Candles, but Ry didn’t think he looked like the actor. He was way better-looking. The stubble on his jaw and cheeks made her want to run her hand over it to know what it felt like.

He had the most amazing turquoise eyes she’d ever seen, longish hair, and what she thought was a permanent furrow in his brow. One that lately seemed to be getting deeper. Because of her.

He was muscular and intimidating, and being around him somehow made Ry feel safe. It was a dichotomy that made no sense. He didn’t even like her, and yet she knew if the shit hit the fan, he wouldn’t hesitate to protect her. Simply because the others considered her their friend.

He was loyal, a hard worker, and very observant. From the outside looking in, one might think he was laid-back and a big teddy bear, but Ry knew the truth. She’d lived in his cabin for a few months now, and the second he walked through his door at the end of each day, the polite veneer he wore for the world sloughed off, and he became the man he really was.

Tough. Hard. Unforgiving. Suspicious.

And Ry was probably the biggest idiot on the planet—because she liked him even more, now that she’d seen the real man underneath. Yes, he could be mean, and Ry had been on the receiving end of his venom more than once since she’d admitted she’d lied to everyone. But she’d also seen him in action. His background as a Navy SEAL had given him the tools to act under pressure. To know instantly and instinctively what needed to be done, and he never hesitated to throw himself into any situation if it meant keeping his friends safe.

Ry rarely allowed herself to think about her future, because she suspected her time on earth would end sooner rather than later if her dad had his way…but when she did allow herself to dream, Tiny was at her side. They worked together as a team, taking out bullies and making their corner of the world a little safer, better.

However, that was a pipe dream. With the way Tiny was shooting daggers at her right now, it was obvious he’d never feel anything but suspicion toward her.

Staying was like having a knife thrust into her side over and over, and coming back for more. But she couldn’t leave. Not now. Not when she was sure her father had found her.

After all the precautions she’d taken. After all the sacrifices she’d made…one mistake was all it took for him to track her down. But she didn’t regret using Brick’s computer just that one time. She’d been as desperate as everyone else to find Stone, Owl, and Lara. Using the unsecured computer to do a few searches was all it took for dear ol’ dad to grab onto the thread she’d left in cyber space…but it had also helped them find their friends.

“What’s with you today?” Tiny asked gruffly.

Ry swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you mean?” she fibbed.

Tiny snorted. “Right. I’m not sure why I expected you to do anything but lie again.”

Wincing, she turned to face him, suddenly exhausted. Overwhelmingly tired of lying to the people who’d come to mean the world to her. Tired of walking on eggshells around the man next to her. Just…tired.

“You want to know what’s with me?” she asked in a low tone.

“Yeah, Ryleigh. I do,” Tiny responded, looking her in the eye.

“I’m terrified. Every moment I’m here brings more danger to everyone and everything I’ve come to know and love. But I can’t leave, because if I do, there won’t be anyone here to protect all of you.

“I lied to everyone. I lied to get the job, but you know what? I’d do it all over again if I had the choice. Because I like it here. I’m thrilled for Henley and Tonka. I love the stupid goats who try to eat my shirt every time I go into the barn. I love chatting with Jasna about her days at school. Working with Carly and Jess was the highlight of my mornings before I was forced to give up my job as a housekeeper. I can’t wait to see how this place flourishes with the addition of the helicopter.

“The Refuge is an amazing place. Serene and calm and healing, and it does so much good for the men and women who come here. And I know if I stay…it could all be destroyed. But if I go, it will definitely be destroyed.

“I’m sorry I lied. To you, to the girls, to your friends. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me in your cabin when you hate me so much. And I’m damn sorry being around me makes you so unhappy. But I’m going to fix this. Somehow, someway. Then I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again.

“Now, since you correctly pointed out that I’m being a downer, I’ll head back to the cabin. Tell everyone whatever you want as to why I’m gone. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.”

With that, she spun on her heel and headed for the door. Tears swam in her eyes as she made her escape. She probably shouldn’t have blurted all that out, but she hadn’t lied. About any of it. She was terrified out of her mind, and so scared and sorry that her presence here was a threat to the only people in her life who’d treated her as if she wasn’t a freak.

She made it out the door and had taken only four steps toward the forest, and Tiny’s cabin, when her elbow was gripped and she was spun around.

Ry acted on pure instinct. With thoughts of her father front and center in her head—and what he’d do to her when he finally made his move to get back what she’d taken from him—she threw herself to the side, landing hard on her hip. She didn’t hesitate when she hit the ground, using her momentum to roll away from the threat.

“Jesus, Ryleigh! It’s me. Are you all right?”

Once again, she immediately recognized the voice. Tiny had followed her.

Of course he had. He liked to get the last word.

Feeling off-kilter, Ry scrambled to her feet and faced her nemesis.

“What the hell happened just now?” he asked.

“I didn’t know you’d followed me. You startled me, that’s all,” she said with a lift of her chin.

“You actually think I’d hurt you?” Tiny asked in a low, gruff tone.

Ry didn’t know how to answer that. Did she think he’d do something to bruise her skin? Physically hurt her? No. Not really. But he had hurt her. Every time he glared daggers at her. Every time he refused to talk to her when they were alone in his cabin. Then every time he deigned to open his mouth, and his disdain for her poured out loud and clear, he hurt her.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, pacing away, running a hand through his hair. When he faced her again, Ry could see the determination in his gaze. “We need to talk.”

“No,” she said without hesitation. “We don’t.”

“You can’t expect to lay everything you just laid on me back there and then not explain what the hell you meant.”

Ry sighed. She was so exhausted. And things were just going to get more difficult from here on out. She hadn’t held her tongue like normal. She’d blabbed way too much to Tiny.

“The time to talk to me was when I told you who I was. When I admitted that I got the job here under false pretenses. But you didn’t want to hear what I had to say then, and I’m not too inclined to explain myself now. Believe me, if I could leave, I would. You’d have your cabin back, wouldn’t have to see my face every day, and wouldn’t feel the need to hover over me, trying to make sure I’m not doing anything that will hurt The Refuge. News flash, Tiny—I’d never do anything to intentionally put this place in jeopardy. Not when I’ve worked so damn hard to help it prosper. But there are people out there who’d like nothing more than to see this place burn to the ground. Simply because it means something to me.

“And that’s why I can’t leave. Because I screwed up. But I’m going to fix it. I don’t know how, but I am. You want to know all my secrets? Too bad. I might’ve told them to you before…but now? No. It’s too late for that. Just please know that I’m going to do whatever I can to make The Refuge stronger than it’s ever been before. For all the babies that will be born in the upcoming year, for you and your friends who served our country bravely and without hesitation, and for each and every guest who needs this place to heal.”

“Ryleigh,” Tiny began, but she was done.

She turned her back on the only man who had the ability to tear her to pieces with a simple look and headed for his cabin. If she had any other place to go, she would. But she’d moved out of her apartment in Los Alamos when Stone was missing so she could share whatever scrap of information she found in a more timely manner. The small guest room in Tiny’s cabin was her home for the moment, and while she was grateful for the roof over her head, every second spent with Tiny was torture. Because he hated her. He’d made that clear.

Thankfully, he didn’t follow her back to his cabin. Ry let herself in and went straight to her room. She lay down on the bed and curled into a ball on her side. Closing her eyes, she tried to think, to strategize. But even though she desperately needed a plan, she couldn’t think about anything but the confusion and worry in Tiny’s eyes after she’d stupidly overshared.

She’d never seen those expressions on his face before in regard to her. Usually he looked at her with suspicion and contempt.

Confused and weary from the stress she’d been under, Ry fell into an uneasy sleep. One punctuated with her father’s face, laughing manically, and Tiny shaking his head and telling his friends, “I told you she was trouble.”

 

New York Times Bestselling Author

Leaving wasn’t an option. She had to stay to protect everything, and everyone, she’d grown to love. Especially him.

Ryleigh Lodge has secrets. Her new friends, the men and women at The Refuge, already know that for months she lied about her name, her hacking skills, and how she got the job in the first place. But there’s one last secret. One so explosive, it could cost her everything…her friends, her new home…the man she’s been falling for since the day she arrived at The Refuge. Not that she hasn’t already ruined any chance with Tiny. Fact is, she should have left a long time ago. Now Ry’s brought evil to their door—and she’s the only one who can stop it. Leaving is no longer an option.

Spencer “Tiny” Denny has trust issues. And no one can blame him; even if he hadn’t seen his fair share of hell as a former Navy SEAL, the last time he loved a woman, he barely escaped the relationship with his heart intact—figuratively and literally. He should’ve known the pull he felt toward Ryleigh was too good to be true. So the second he heard about her lies, he put her on lockdown, watching her like a hawk and treating her like the enemy…until he discovered her actions were borne of deep fear. Now Tiny’s keeping her close for different reasons. Partly to keep her safe…and partly because his feelings for her have only grown stronger.

When the threat that’s been hunting Ryleigh for ten long years finally makes a move, for the first time in her life, she’s not fighting alone. Tiny’s got her back, and with his love and support, she’s ready to do battle…for their friends, their found family, and for The Refuge.

Deserving Ryleigh 

Jan 7, 2025